Tag: parents

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Coaching Soccer Parents

Let Us Play – How adults are damaging kids sports

A fascinating and extremely informative podcast from BBC 5 live Sport. Please share this with coaches and parents at your club. Includes tips from psychologists and stories from pushy, competitive parents and much more…

How much pressure is too much?

Olympian Karen Pickering delves into the world of children’s sport and the part their parents play.

She hears from Kevin, a football Dad forced to change his ways when he realised how unhappy he was making his son; a 10 year-old swimmer who was so good that other parents booed her at a competition; and a former professional Ice Hockey player, whose Dad physically and emotionally abused him for years.

Let Us Play also looks at what parents can do to make sure they’re supportive, rather than pushy, with their children and the sport they participate in.

Click to podcast here >> Let Us Play or on Itunes Let Us Play

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I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

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Coaching Soccer Parents

Ten rules for parents from 1974

I got this information Glenn Mulcahy and it seems not much has changed in terms of parents involvement in their child’s sport.

“Ten rules for parents of athletes” below written by Lloyd Percival, a coach in Canada during the 50’s and 60’s who worked with numerous athletes who became national champions or Olympians, He also published “The Hockey Handbook” which is argued by many to be one of the best hockey instructional books ever written published initially in 1951 although he only coached for one season of hockey.

He credits his wife for the initial groundwork but the final rules he published in the Sport and Fitness Instructor (The Canadian Fitness Institutes monthly journal) in 1974 is a result of his interaction with numerous athletes and their parents during his tenure of coaching over 2 decades including his radio coaching on the Sports College for CBC’s National Radio Program.

Since he published the ten rules, numerous sports bodies have incorporated variations of same, thought you would appreciate if had seen any of the variations the original ten rules I found posted by the author of Lloyds biography.

Ten Rules For Parents of Athletes – Lloyd Percival – 1974

  1. Make sure your child knows that win or lose, scared or heroic, you love them, appreciate their efforts and are not disappointed in them.
  2. Try to be completely honest with yourself about your child’s athletic capability, competitive attitude, sportsmanship and actual level of skill.
  3. Be helpful, but don’t “coach” them on the way to the track, diamond or court … on the way back … at breakfast … and so on.
  4. Teach your child to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be “out there trying” to be working to improve their skills and attitudes … to take physical bumps and come back for more.
  5. Try not to re-live your athletic life through your child in a way that it creates pressure; you fumbled too, you lost as well as you won. You were frightened, you backed off at times, and you were not always heroic. Don’t pressure your child because of your pride.
  6. Don’t compete with the coach.
  7. Don’t compare the skill, courage or attitudes of your child with other members of the squad or team, at least in range of him/her hearing
  8. You should also get to know the coach so that you can be assured that their philosophy, attitudes , and ethics and knowledge are such that you are comfortable with them taking a prominent role in the development of your child.
  9. Always remember that children tend to exaggerate, both when praised and when criticized.
  10. Make a point of understanding courage and the fact that it is relative.

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I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

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Irish Grassroots Football

Coach the Parent: What to expect!

One thing I’ve learnt about coaching kids is to keep parents informed on team rules but don’t get too close it may backfire at some stage. Believe it or not 99% of parents are workable and don’t get involved. To make things work for you, training the parents early on sets the standard going forward.

The parents aren’t your best friends nor do you want them to be. For years I’ve listened to parents talk about players and coaching staff from a distance. They forget that Ireland is very windy, and sound travels easily. I respect parents, I appreciate the time and effort they make to get the kids to and from training and I enjoy seeing them there on match day. What I don’t like is when they start to interfere in things that don’t concern them.

“Players do not need adults to question their actions, the actions of other players, or the coach’s decisions concerning team dynamics or playing time, this does not concern you!” –  TCD

I always find it funny when unqualified parents offer their advice on the team selection or say things like, ‘I don’t agree with your changes etc etc’. If you’re one of those parents reading this article; Coaches don’t really care what you think!!! They are in it for the kids not for you. All we need from you is to support your child and don’t talk negative about his/her coach. Most kids actually like their coaches, and when you talk them down, they don’t think you’re being cool!!

“Do not allow a player or his/her teammates to put themselves or anyone else down. We are hear to build self-esteem not destroy it.” – TCD

One of biggest issue kids will face playing a sport is the interference from their parents in team dynamics. I see it all too often, where parents take every single decision made personally. My advice is to back-off, it’s not your game and it’s certainly not your team, so stop going on like, you’re playing.

According to Dan Gould at the Michigan State University Institute for the Study of Youth Sports:

  • Kids want to have fun, to get better, and to be with their friends.
  • They want parental support and encouragement. 
  • They want you to watch them play and praise them for their effort.
  • They want you to be realistic about their ability.
  • And they want you to be present, and interested in what they are doing. 

They do not want you to shout at them the coach and the refs.  They don’t want you to put too much pressure on them, or be overly critical.  They want the game to be theirs!

John O’Sullivan from the Changing The Game Project, who recently spoke in Dublin added,  “When I grew up, it was children competing against children. With two adults on either side. Now, more often than not, it’s adults competing against other adults through their children.” “It’s know as ‘adultification’ of kids sports. It’s the introduction of adult values into kids’ games.”

This causes myriad problems. Dan Saferstein, PhD, a sports psychologist and author of Win or Lose: A Guide to Sports Parenting, works with young athletes, including U.S. hockey national youth teams.

“If you get a high-achieving, talented kid with a pushy, high-achieving parent, it can work out,” says Saferstein. “The kid can somehow rise to the expectations of the parent, and the kid may even share some of that drive himself.

“What can be tragic, though, is when you get a more driven, consumed parent with a kid who somehow, in the parent’s eyes, just doesn’t measure up.” The result, says Saferstein, extends further than sports: “The kid feels like a failure.”

Parents often misperceive their child’s natural talent. “There’s a myth in youth sports that if you work hard enough, you can achieve anything,” he says. “It’s not true.”

Majority of kids (especially teenagers) don’t want you to fight their corner, yes they want you too support them but they don’t want you to embarrass them with your actions.

Don’t base a football season on a single game. Parents can judge you at the end of the season by asking 3 simple questions:

1. Has the child become a better person?
2. Has the child improved?
3. Was the coach fair to the child?

What Works & What doesn’t Work?

  1. Most parents who are pushy, do so because they don’t know how to be helpful and do not understand the effects that this has on you and their child. They generally bring up issues at the wrong time. My advice is never vent before or after a game. Take 24 hours and approach the coach then.
  2. We know all parents want is for their child to be happy and successful and when they take things personally is normally cases them to say things in the heat of the moment. You are in a position as a coach to give parents the 2 things that they want the most for their child to feel happy and successful.
  3. For most coaches it’s not about winning. It’s about having fun, improving and giving the players the best chase of being successful in a game. Success is not always defined as winning. Winning is great but getting better is more important.
  4. There are lots of things in life we can’t control. For instance focusing on taking another kids spot in the team. Parents should never tell their child to focus on taking someone else’s place. The player can’t control that but he/she can focus on getting better.
  5. Communicate early on with parents. Set the sideline behaviour standards and what’s expected of them and get them to commit to the parent pledge.  For parents specifically state that coaching is something you do and they don’t. Define what it means to coach so that they won’t have any confusion.
  6. Be approachable and encourage them to come to you directly if they have any issues. Listen to them and give them the feeling that you hear them and can understand where they are coming from, even if you don’t agree with them. Allow them to talk first and finish talking before your start.
  7. If they push your hot buttons, stay in control of your emotions. If you lose control, you will say things you don’t really mean and most likely be ineffective.
  8. Do they know about your club rules, philosophy and coaching methods. If they don’t make sure your inform them.
  9. Let them know about the players rules. Try and set 3 rules for the season, for instance; 1. Respect everyone on the team 2: Commitment works both ways. If a player is not involved, he’s not committed.  3. In order to be selected a player must train with commitment and a willingness to learn. He/she must be prepared to focus close to 100% at all times.
  10. Let them know that you won’t tolerate player or parent bad behaviour and every violation carries a punishment.
  11. You won’t always get it right and if you’re starting out if can be even more daunting. Get yourself educated on the best practices, never ever act as if you’re not the expert. If you don’t know just tell them (non-conflict way) that you will get back to them and go an educate yourself on how to deal with issue or question. You can always ask a more experienced coaches.
  12. Define team goals and make sure the parents know what the goals are.
  13. Not all kids are the same. Some are better than others and some bigger than others. All kids develop and learn at different stages. It’s a natural process. Most parents don’t understand why their child may not be performing at a certain level and winning everything in sight. Tell them not to focus so much on the weekends game. Learning about the game is a long process and success should be measured long-term not short-term.
  14. I  added this after I posted the article because it was something that happened recently. You might find the reason a player is not doing what you have asked him to do week after week because (A). He still doesn’t understand what you’re asking him to do, so maybe try and explain it in a different way or (B). He’s father has been telling him to do the complete opposite (as happened to me). This is another reason why parent’s should let the coach do the coaching and they do the supporting.
  15. Finally, let them know that you don’t just show up at the weekend and decide you starts and who doesn’t. The higher the level the more the coaches and managers are in discussion about team dynamics, formations and tactics (11 aside football mostly). 99% of coaches don’t take picking starting line-ups lightly. As soon as one game is finished they are thinking about the next one. For most of us it’s a daily discussion. I’m not referring to small sided games!

When you allow parents run your team and make decisions on your behalf, it’s time for someone to move on!!

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Date for your diary: 

  1. 04 & 05th Silent Sideline Weekend
  2. 29th September Silent Sideline Workshop, (Supported by Fingal City Council)

Sign Up for the Silent Sideline Workshop

Sign Up for Silent Sideline Weekend

I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com and if you don’t have anything to add, please pass this on to a friend.

As always, thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

Categories
Soccer Parents

A Message To Parents

Watching your children not playing is so challenging. It can be harder on you than it is on them. Don’t make it worse by living below the surface through rage, back-stabbing the coach, talking negative about the training or other players, and even filling the house with bitterness.

Your words can be an even heavier burden. Disappointment is a fact of life but bitterness, shame and rage do not have to be. Work to help your son or daughter become a more powerful, healthy and mentally tough person. Teach them about values and how to deal with with disappointment. Not every coach is going to be fair and understand what is being fair. In fact most believe they are doing the right thing, they just know any other way. That’s life, the entire process is learning about what you believe to be right and/or wrong and learning to overcome it.

“Certainly, disappointment is not a pleasant emotion; it feels really bad, in fact. But that doesn’t mean it is a bad emotion to be avoided at all costs. To the contrary, disappointment is actually a healthy and positive emotion that plays an essential role in children’s emotional, intellectual, and social development. But only if-and it’s a big if-you and your children understand the real value of in helping them to achieve their goals.” – Jim Taylor, Ph.D.

Studies have shown that, how your children learn to respond to disappointment will determine its impact on their future achievement and happiness. You can teach your children to see stumbling blocks as opportunities to improve and grow. Offering your children a different perspective on their disappointment- “I know it feels horrible right now, but what can you learn from it?” – gives them tools they can use to avoid or minimise their disappointment in the future, and to turn the obstacles to their advantage by increasing resilience, motivation, and confidence. Make sure they don’t feel bad about themselves, teach them to use the experiences by showing them that they can conquer their past failures. Don’t show your disappointment as this will only double the burden and then they will realise they let you down. Disappointment is part of life and teaching your child how to react to it, is what matters most.

“Childhood disappointment is actually a practice lap on the course to adulthood. If you run interference whenever disappointment threatens, you’re setting kids up to run a marathon without ever letting them train for it,” Says, Allison Armstrong

People fail more in sport than any other field, you can tell them how common it is for young players to fail. This is part of the progress and a stepping stone to improvement. This is an opportunity to encourage them to keep working hard and for you to express your confidence in them by showing that you believe they will get better.

Here are some suggestions on how to respond to your children’s disappointments:

  • Allow your children to feel disappointment about the setback, don’t suppress their emotions. These is their opportunity to express how they feel through words;
  • Don’t put a “spin” on the situation to make your children feel better;
  • Support your children, but don’t give them a consolation prize;
  • Help your children find ways to overcome the causes of their disappointment;
  • Tell your children that they will survive these disappointments and will achieve their goals if they keep trying hard;
  • Teach them that life is one big lesson, it’s how you deal with disappointments that really matters;
  • Finally, make sure they know you care for them regardless of their successes or failures. After all, it’s just a game.
  • Let them know how much you LOVE watching them play.

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”

The Butterfly

There was a great story about a young boy who observed a butterfly unable to emerge from a cocoon. The butterfly appeared to be struggling and in pain. He rushed into the kitchen and brought out a scissors. He carefully snipped the cocoon open and the butterfly was free. But the butterfly’s wings where twisted. He later learned, the struggle and pain the butterfly must endure to emerge from the cocoon were necessary for it to fly. This story is so relative to how children learn, grow and deal with struggle and disappointment. Sometimes we just need to let them figure it out for themselves and not be so quick to propel them along.

Parents, take a deep breath and avoid the reactive impulse to rescue your children from disappointment, it could be the very thing they need to become the best they can be.

Disappointment can propel us to great heights if we deal with it well, keep working hard and you will over come them.

Sports Psychologist Dan Abrahams will be in Dublin on the 8th March, this will be a great opportunity for anybody involved in youth sports to listen to the power of positivity.

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I always like to hear your opinions. Please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. Thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

Categories
Irish Grassroots Football Soccer Parents

Our Children Have NO Freedom

Our kids can no longer play with the freedom we played with. In fact, I believe our kids will never have the freedom we had as kids.

Milk Run

When I was 6/7, I use to help the milk man. I’d leave my house at 6.45am and head off with a man unknown to my parents, – well they knew him as the milk man, his first name and that was pretty much it. They didn’t have a mobile number for him, he wasn’t Garda vetted and they didn’t even know what time I’d be back. Like me, most of us went out in the morning and didn’t come back until dinner time.

“Children left to their own devices will gravitate towards the things they love, and they love being outdoors. For every really miserable wet week, there’s been some sort of amazing experience outdoors that we’ve had together,”

As a child I had so much freedom, I spent most of my boyhood life outdoors. From the greens to the beaches eventually back to the greens. I roamed within 2 square miles of my house. Most kids wander freely only as far as their garden gate and even playing out the back unattended can be unique experience for a lot of kids.

Let Kids Explore

Back then we explored our world, we got mucky, we ran after each other with worms, we climbed trees, walls, fences, we jumped far and leapt over hedges. We explored dangerous places and frolicked in austere ones such as cemeteries and building sites. We even had pocket knives, sling shots and sticks. I can say for sure that I didn’t feel like my bedroom defined me as a child. My outdoor space did. Our children will be much more defined in their psyches by their indoor space than my brothers and sisters or I were.

A mothers view,  “Peer pressure is very strong,” agrees Helen. “You think you can make the world afresh for your children, you think you can make your own rules for your children, but you can’t.”

“Society’s fears of the risks that lurk outside for children – from ponds to stranger danger – may be overwrought and irrational, but anxiety (the defining characteristic of British families, according to a Unicef report on child wellbeing) about traffic is more logical. The growth in road traffic is probably the decisive factor preventing children playing on the streets as they once did. The Bonds live on a quiet residential road, but the traffic is still relentless, says Bond. “Until they are a lot older, I don’t feel comfortable with them cycling or walking around on the roads outside.”

You see, we are all the same. Not only is it British parents who feel like this but, us Irish do also in fact the worlds parents do. The stats show that the world is no more dangerous then it was was the 50’s but yet we fear everything. Our kids don’t get enough time outdoors and when they do, it is controlled by adults. Adults control everything their children do, you go to any playground and most adults are shadowing their children, telling them what to do and were not to go. We take them home when we’ve had enough. Today’s child just don’t move enough and when they do we shadow and tell them to slow down. Then we wonder why they lack balance and coordination in sport.

Where Are All the Mucky Kids?

Isn’t it amazing, that we tell our kids not to pick up dirt, a slug, a snail. We tell them to ‘get up off the floor’, we stop them from exploring all the time.  From a very young age we teach to be scared of spiders, we pass on our fears to them. If we react to anything our kids will follow without allowing them to decide for themselves. The natural world is fun and we should be allowing our kids to explore it more, a lot more.

“You know it is summer when everyone starts worrying about children not playing outside unsupervised anymore. A report from the Future Foundation says that the average amount for eight- to 10-year-olds playing unsupervised in the summer holidays has fallen from 55 “occasions” in the 1950s and 1960s to 24 now. Cue parental nostalgia for their own unsupervised summer holidays.”

I’m sure these figures are wrong, who in their right mind is letting 8-10 years old out 24 times during the summer and when would it be convenient to send the social services around? 🙂

street footballParents Back off, give the kids time to explore and discover

What do children need, security, self-expression, discipline etc, yet there’s never mention of one of the most important – privacy. Basically, there’s too much parental ego flying around. Modern parents need to learn that it is not all about them, centre-stage, being great hands-on parents. Sometimes, it is really about parents staying away and allowing the kids some freedom.

Could you imagine a game at the weekend with no parents on either sidelines. I’m dreaming, so are the refs!!

“You can’t teach creativity; all you can do is let it blossom, and it blossoms in play.” – Peter Gray

Read a debate, I just had about this quote here DEBATE

Could you imagine if one of our parents showed up when we were playing- “This looks fun! Can I play too?” To reproduce anything close to the freedom, we as children used to enjoy, modern parents need to back off. What do kids love more now a days? ‘A play date’, and ‘a sleepover’, these are the things kids dream for and a successful one is when the kids are barely aware you’re there. It’s all about invisible supervision, the passive parental presence. Independent adventure was central to a child’s development when we grew up, now it’s parental/child adventure……which is great, but not every-time kids play.

Adrian Voce, director of the campaign group Play England, said:

“While some fears – such as ‘stranger danger’ – may not be based on strong evidence, there is no doubt that the public realm is now very unfriendly to children. “For all of human history the way children have learned about the world has been to explore it. If they get everything they know from television and classrooms, they are missing out on a fundamental part of the learning experience.”

Margaret Morrissey, from the ParentsOutloud support group, said:

“I feel terribly sorry for parents and children today as we have allowed a society to develop in which the freedom of childhood has been lost.”

Sports

This reflect how we react to kids on playing fields, we want them to do things we can do (and in most cases can’t do) without letting them discover it for themselves. We expect them to understand the game of football, before they can understand it for themselves. As we control so much of their lives, we think it’s ok to control their sport and how they learn and develop. We control their recreational time from start to finish, we bring them to it, we give our opinions during and after it and we don’t allow the kids freedom to think and explore for themselves.

What the children see on a sports pitch and what you see is completely different. Even the view you have of the game and the view they have, is different. The sports pitch can in some case be the only place a child has the opportunity to experience freedom, make mistakes but even that is taken away by the consistent actions and demands by adults from the sidelines.

In reference to school, we don’t expect kids to write sentences in junior infants, when they are still learning letters. Teachers allow the kids to develop over time in a structured way, it’s only kids sports were we seem to demand more sooner. We want them to play and think like adults but we forget they’re kids.

So, my point is to let the kids play with freedom, give them some space alone and allow them explore.

Psychologist Peter Gray writes, “playing is learning. At play, children learn the most important of life’s lessons, the ones that cannot be taught in school. To learn these lessons well, children need lots of play — lots and lots of it, without interference from adults.”

He goes on to say “You can’t teach creativity; all you can do is let it blossom. Little children, before they start school, are naturally creative. Our greatest innovators, the ones we call geniuses, are those who somehow retain that childhood capacity, and build on it, right through adulthood. Albert Einstein, who apparently hated school, referred to his achievements in theoretical physics and mathematics as ‘combinatorial play’.”

“A great deal of research has shown that people are most creative when infused by the spirit of play, when they see themselves as engaged in a task just for fun.”

“Children today are cossetted and pressured in equal measure. Without the freedom to play they will never grow up.” – Peter Gray

 Read Peter Gray’s BLOG

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I always like to hear your opinions. Please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. Thanks for reading.

I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

Categories
Psychology Soccer Parents

Parents should be seen and not heard…!

We all have them and we all hate them (joke). Some of us have left teams because of them and others have even had them banned from the club. Yes, PARENTS, that’s who I’m taking about, the ones that rant and rage all game long (not all). The worst offenders are ego-driven parents who take personally any slights to their children on the pitch. All that a side, their are some absolutely brilliant parents out there who give up so much time to bring their kids to and from training etc and never interfere in their kids football, but these are mostly few in these times.

Maybe we should pre-warn parents and tell them, “you might get angry on the side lines and attached are some tips to deal with it’. Below are some excerpts from a study about parent behaviour on the sidelines, mostly from the US.

A recent study showed – by Jay D. Goldstein

Overall, about half of the parents in the study reported getting angry during games, and nearly 40 percent of the angry parents made their emotions known. These sideline expressions ranged from muttering or yelling comments to walking onto or near the pitch.

“Their own sense of their personal worth gets wrapped up in how their children are doing in these ball games,” said Edward Deci, a psychologist at the University of Rochester in New York. ” And so the parents feel intense, internal pressure to see their kids performing because the kids are like extensions of themselves.”

Coach: ” so what is your favorite position? “
Player: ” center midfield”
Coach: ” Interesting. Is that because you see yourself as a good playmaker? “
Player: ” No its because my dad is one side and my coach is on the other and sometimes if i’m in midfield, I can’t hear either of them. “

340 parents of 8- to 15-year-old soccer players were evaluated on personality and ego characteristics, feelings of anger and pressure, and aggressive behaviour.

The Results

  • 47% of parents reported no anger-causing events while watching their kids play.
  • 53% did get angry.

Of those who did feel anger, what made them flare up?

  • 19% blamed the referee.
  • 15% said they got angry at how their kid’s team played.
  • 7% said the opponents behaved badly.
  • 5% reported hostile remarks set them off.
  • 5% blamed coaches.

Researchers concluded that the effect of ego defensiveness and taking things personally was strongly linked to feelings of anger and aggressive actions. Those who were more “control-oriented” were more ego defensive. They viewed actions in the soccer game as attacks against them or their children.

“In general, control-oriented people are the kind who try to ‘keep up with the Joneses,'” Goldstein said in a news release.”They have a harder time controlling their reactions. They more quickly become one of ‘those’ parents than the parents who are able to separate their ego from their kids and events on the field.”

Goldstein calls parents who are more even-keeled and able to regulate their emotions “autonomy-oriented parents.” They get angry too, he says, and when they do it’s because their ego gets in the way.

“While they’re more able to control it, once they react to the psychological trigger, the train has already left the station.”

To ease anger on the playing field, Goldstein suggests these tips:

  • Take deep breaths (inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds).
  • Suck on a lollipop. (Occupies your mouth and reminds you that you’re there for your child.)
  • Visualize a relaxing experience like floating on water.
  • Repeat a calm word or phrase.
  • Do yoga-like muscle stretches.
  • Replace angry thoughts with rational ones, such as “This is my child’s game, not mine,” or “Mistakes are opportunities to learn.”
  • Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head. Count to 10 and think about possible responses.
  • If you did not see the game, first ask your child “How did you play?” rather than “Did you win?”
  • Praise your child’s effort, and then, maybe, comment on the results.
  • Use humor, but avoid harsh or sarcastic humor.


Conclusion

More needs to be done in the area of parenting in sport. Parents don’t shout over the teacher in school, so why do they feel they have the right to shout over the coach. How many times, have you seen a team where the coach has decided to have their defence drop when they lose the ball, so that the midfield can recover but then the parents on the sideline are screaming “press”, “press”? Johnny has no idea whether he’s coming or going and this distraction could be critical in the teams play.

Ask any child, ‘what they think about their parents shouting on the sideline’? and you will get some very interesting answers. Some that come to mind, “it’s so embarrassing”, “I hate it”, “he doesn’t know what he’s talking about”, “I wish they wouldn’t come to my games”

“By constantly coaching and correcting our kids in the game we are unconsciously, but almost certainly, guaranteeing poor and deteriorating performance. We are taking them away from that unconscious, focused mental state where they need to be to excel”. – Inside Soccer

Parents need to educate themselves with the help of the clubs and leagues on how to behave pitch side. I don’t understand how parents think it’s ok to verbally abuse children on a playing field yet they wouldn’t dream of telling a kid off in a playground. Well, just in case you didn’t notice or weren’t told ‘the football pitch’ is also a play ground, guys!

Just because things happened certain way when they were younger, it doesn’t mean it has to happen that way now. I think it’s about time some parents kept quiet and let the kids play….

PS. Was at a tournament on Saturday and some of the parents in the stands were a disgrace. In all my time coaching that was the worst I’ve heard. (One lady in particular, now names given)

Research: Inside soccer, University of Maryland,

Pic and Video: shows top actor Ray Winstone playing a shouting parent for the English FA Video.

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I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com and if you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend.

As always, thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary