Category: Soccer Parents

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Coaching Soccer Parents

Ten rules for parents from 1974

I got this information Glenn Mulcahy and it seems not much has changed in terms of parents involvement in their child’s sport.

“Ten rules for parents of athletes” below written by Lloyd Percival, a coach in Canada during the 50’s and 60’s who worked with numerous athletes who became national champions or Olympians, He also published “The Hockey Handbook” which is argued by many to be one of the best hockey instructional books ever written published initially in 1951 although he only coached for one season of hockey.

He credits his wife for the initial groundwork but the final rules he published in the Sport and Fitness Instructor (The Canadian Fitness Institutes monthly journal) in 1974 is a result of his interaction with numerous athletes and their parents during his tenure of coaching over 2 decades including his radio coaching on the Sports College for CBC’s National Radio Program.

Since he published the ten rules, numerous sports bodies have incorporated variations of same, thought you would appreciate if had seen any of the variations the original ten rules I found posted by the author of Lloyds biography.

Ten Rules For Parents of Athletes – Lloyd Percival – 1974

  1. Make sure your child knows that win or lose, scared or heroic, you love them, appreciate their efforts and are not disappointed in them.
  2. Try to be completely honest with yourself about your child’s athletic capability, competitive attitude, sportsmanship and actual level of skill.
  3. Be helpful, but don’t “coach” them on the way to the track, diamond or court … on the way back … at breakfast … and so on.
  4. Teach your child to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be “out there trying” to be working to improve their skills and attitudes … to take physical bumps and come back for more.
  5. Try not to re-live your athletic life through your child in a way that it creates pressure; you fumbled too, you lost as well as you won. You were frightened, you backed off at times, and you were not always heroic. Don’t pressure your child because of your pride.
  6. Don’t compete with the coach.
  7. Don’t compare the skill, courage or attitudes of your child with other members of the squad or team, at least in range of him/her hearing
  8. You should also get to know the coach so that you can be assured that their philosophy, attitudes , and ethics and knowledge are such that you are comfortable with them taking a prominent role in the development of your child.
  9. Always remember that children tend to exaggerate, both when praised and when criticized.
  10. Make a point of understanding courage and the fact that it is relative.

-end

I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

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Irish Grassroots Football Soccer Parents The Coach Diary

Things Coaches Do That Drive Parents Crazy

We all have the things that parents do that drive us crazy but here are somethings that coaches do that make parents a little annoyed about how we go about coaching their child (ren). Over the years I have received many emails and phone calls in relation to coaching children or not coaching children.

“Players should be seen as children first, students second and players last“

Here are 10 things that are regularly brought up by parents:

  1. Coaches don’t communicate: Communication is the number way to get you message across to the players but also the parents. When you don’t communicate with the parents they start to make assumptions and talk behind your back. Lesson number one communicate with the parents regularly. Organise a team meeting at the start and end of the season.
  2. Not having a coaching philosophy: Now, your club may have one so it’s always best to let the parents know what it is. Your way is the only way is not the way to go about this. There are many ways to develop kids and they all need something different. What works for one, may not work for the other.
  3. Your goals may not be the same as the players: Your motivation to succeed may not be the same as the players or parents. From day one set out your goals and aspirations by communicating them. There must be a complete buy-in otherwise you will have problems further down the line. Match your wants with those of the players. Remember most kids get into sports for fun, fitness reasons, be with friends etc.
  4. Having Favourites: We all want to have a successful team but the most successful teams are the ones that give all kids a chance to develop. Every child deserves the same level of attention from you.  Do not focus on the better players. Look to try and get the best out of the weaker ones also.
  5. Not taking other commitments into consideration: The kids and families have other commitments. Be considerate to other sports, school and family commitments. if a child is playing other sports, he is still training and trying to improve. Communication is key here.
  6. Letting your standards drop for certain kids:  Don’t be inconsistent  with the players, this really annoys parents. Being late, not showing up, messing about, not listening are common team rules that apply to everyone. Enforce the rules on everyone in the squad.
  7. Not knowing how to discipline: Another area where coaches can get it so wrong. It takes the same energy to shout and get annoyed as it does to be respectful and calm. Shouting and using a dictatorial style of coaching will only get you so far. Coaches need to have clear, consistent ways of dealing with difficult, destructive and distracting players so that as little time as possible is wasted on words and actions that don’t directly contribute to improving the kids.
  8. Not showing up:  If you prepared to take on this difficult task of coaching. Then you must show up prepared to show up. And what I mean by that is you must be prepared to improve the players. If your team aren’t performing and you’re constantly to the same things in training you will get the same results. You must arrive at training prepared, focused and ready to improve your team. Any team can grow but the growth starts with you. Using your mobile phone, talking to other parents or coaches and not being 100% focused is also regarded as Not Showing Up!
  9. Time: Our time is our most important asset and you should never underestimate the value of it. After all most of you give your time for FREE. The most important things to parents are 1. Children, 2. Time and 3. Money. Parents pay coaches and/or clubs for their kids to play and be coached in a specific sport. Most are rushing home from work and taxing the entire weekend to get kids to and from training & games. I’m sure there are plenty of other things parents could be doing. As coaches we need to be mindful of parents time. Not sticking to when training finishes can be very frustrating for parents. Also the time you give each player can be another area of concern. Certain kids may need more of your time and it’s important to give it equally.
  10. Not making it fun:  Most of us are working with kids from age 4 up. Players should be seen as children first, students second and players last. Follow this simple rule and things will be a lot easier for you. Look to make things fun first and then shape you session around the ability of the players. Every child wants to improve and get better but they won’t all improve at the same time. Always focus on what’s best for the child.

Coaches, especially volunteer don’t get a lot of thanks for the time and effort they put in. Many have their own families but devote their own time to other peoples kids. Many of you who read this blog have given up 10s of years doing just that. However if you decide to get involved in coaching then you must be prepared to put in the time. Self development is the one way you can improve your team. If you want to better them then you must be prepared to better yourself.

The number one thing you must consider when coaching is communicating with the parents and players in your squad. The more you do this the less problems you will have and I’m not talking about team dynamics or player performances after a game (although important). I’m talking about communicating what needs to be understood in relation to team rules, respect, training times, your philosophy, beliefs or areas the child needs to work on.

One thing I’ve learnt is that when you are demanding more from a player (in training etc), make sure you also communicate this to his/her parent, that way if for any reason you have to release a player at least you had had some sort of dialogue leading up to your decision. This is the one area that a lot coaches never seem to get right!

Please feel free to comment below on the things you would add to the above list!

– End

I always like to hear your opinions. Please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com, if you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend.

Thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

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Soccer Parents

Helping your child enjoy and stay in sport….

I regularly get calls from parents asking for advice on trying to keep their child in sport. Which in a lot of ways can be one of the most difficult challenges parents face particularly as they get older.

The first thing to consider is does the child actually want to play sport. I find with a lot of parents is they feel an obligation to get their kids started as young as possible and although it’s important that children enjoy and exercise – but starting them young is not always going to be the right decision.

Some children just love to play sport and they can be highly competitive. Others just happen to be there because their parents have brought them along. Some love being around their friends and that’s what’s important to them, the social interaction. All kids have their reasons for participating in sport.

If you want your child feeling good about themselves and having a healthy attitude towards sports, then they will for sure need your help. Be there for them, be supportive but allow them to take control of their sport. You also play your roles in the coach-child-parent relationship.

Allowing your child to take control of their sport by encouraging them to do their best every time they train and play will help build their self-esteem. Sport is a great way to teach children about putting in ‘hard work’ can lead to better results and in turn prepare them for others challenges and obstacles they will face through life.  

Research suggest that being in control or over controlling everything your child does in sport can leave them feeling like a failure, inadequate and lower their self-esteem, which in turn will further your relationship with them and impact in other areas of life. 

It’s so important as a parent to be there for them, be part of their team. They look to you for support, encouragement. They don’t look to you to tell them how bad they did or for advice on how they should play (unless you’re a parent coach and in this case read (Coaching Your Child), they want you be to be part of the experience in a positive way.

Also encourage your kids to experiment, don’t focus on a single sport. Diversification will help develop better movement and ball skills.

“If a kid is a quick biological maturer, that’s different than them being the next LeBron James,” Epstein says. “The path that most elite athletes travel is the Roger Federer path, his parents forcing him to play basketball, badminton and soccer, not the Tiger path. That’s an exception.”

Let’s start off on the right track by:

  1. Respecting everyone that plays. including the opposition, officials, coaches and their parents and teach you child to do the same.
  2. Touching on what I spoke about above. Be supportive but don’t coach. Provide encouragement, support, be empathetic, get them to training and games on time, pay the fees, help with fund-raisers, etc., but… do not coach! One of the worst things you can do is coach you’re child, when you’re not their coach. So, don’t parent when you coach and don’t coach when you’re parenting.
  3. Encourage them to try and improve every-time they play. Just 1% every time can lead to big improvements. The main goal of sport is to get better. When the focus is on getting better, they will be more relaxed, have more fun and play better. One way they can focus on getting better is through effort.
  4. Focus on effort not the result. Don’t judge them on the wins and loses and don’t allow them too either. When a child does their absolute best and loses, they are still successful and you can make them feel like a winner by highlighting their effort. The same can be said when they win but they play below par. You can help your child understand the importance between success and failure and winning and losing. Remember, if you define success and failure in terms of winning and losing, you’re playing a losing game with your child! 
  5. Sport should be fun. That’s the number one reason kids get involved. Fun is part of learning and when they stop having fun they stop learning. If your child is not enjoying playing, then you need to start getting curious. What’s stopping them from having fun? The Coach? The Sport, maybe the pressure of the sport?  It might even be you? Fun and play mean the same thing to children.
  6. Do not measure the love you give your child based on their sports performance. Punishing for playing badly is a damaging mistake and you should only use this method of parenting if you want to damage your child emotionally and ruin your loving relationship with them.
  7. Self -esteem gets established through love and acceptance. The better children feel about themselves the better they will perform. A positive environment will help children learn quicker, build their self esteem and help them perform better during competition. All children want and need acceptance and to have their parents feel positive about the things they do. This is how self-esteem gets established. Like positivity, self esteem makes the world go round. Feeling good about yourself is a powerful thing and the more you do it the more it lasts. It’s never nice to interact with someone in a way that attacks their self-esteem by demeaning, or embarrassing them. If you put your child down or reduce their achievement not only will they eventually to the same to themselves throughout their life, but they will also to the same to others.
  8. Failure is the most powerful learning experience. When children played on the street, they continually made mistakes. However they didn’t see them as mistakes, they saw them as challenges. The most successful people in life are risk takers and they aren’t afraid to fail. When they do fail the use the experience and feedback to improve in a positive way. You see if they didn’t fail they would never learn therefore they would never get better. Failure is succeeding, failure is learning, failure is improving.  Fear of failure is really the biggest failure of all. When a child is afraid to fail they generally fail harder because they are tense and focusing to much on the outcome. We don’t tell a child to stop falling when they are learning to walk. These setbacks, mistakes and even taking risks are positive learning experience that will lead to success. Author of Sports Gene David Epstein says, “If you had to choose between needing feedback when we did something wrong or when we did something right, I’m convinced now it’s when we did something right. And that’s when people don’t give feedback,” he says. “They pay attention to what’s wrong.”
  9. Rewarding “A fiver for every-time you score or a trip to that junk food haunt McD’s if you win” Yeah, we have all heard these promises before. Well, research  have shown this is not the way to motivate your child. Guilt indirectly or directly does not motivate a child to play better. Yeah, you might get short term success but long-term you are heading for disaster. Take the fun away and in many cases getting them to focus on themselves and their rewards instead of doing all they can for the team, is not how sport works. Using fear as a motivator is definitely a no no. Setting your child targets for you own gratification suggest you do not believe in your child’s capabilities. Threats take the fun out of performance and directly lead to your child performing terribly. Empower you child to always believe that they can do their best. If you would like to reward then why not reward effort, respect, fair-play and honesty, etc.
  10. Don’t compare your child to others. All children develop at different rates through the various stages. We know of lots of kids who are the same age but are completely different in physical size. One child may be more technical than they other, in this situation there is a value in comparing. You can use this child to demonstrate how a ball exercise might be executed and you can highlight the fact that this particular child is able to these things because he/she practices a lot. If your child wants to be this good then they to will need to put in the time and effort.
  11. Get them to focus on the process of learning not the result. When they focus on their efforts, the results will come. In life we can’t control outcome of most situations and the same goes for the result in the game. Focusing on the task to achieve a result (praise effort) is a more valuable life learning lesson.

Sports is a fantastic way to build self-esteem in the right environment. At the end of it all, when the weekend is over…..it’s just a game.

As parents we need to be realistic about our children’s development and participation in sport. Very few will get to the top level but most dream of doing so. No matter how far they get or how long they stay in the game, celebrate those experiences with them. The wins, the losses, the disappointments – there is always a positive to take from every situation.  Time passes quickly and It won’t be long before you’re wondering where it went and how you wished, you just backed off a little and let them play!!!

-End

I always like to hear your opinions. Please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com, if you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend.

Thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

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Irish Grassroots Football Soccer Parents

20 ways parents can help their children have a better sports experience

As the seasons go by more and more parents are attending their child sports. Whether it be organised football or sports day in school, you can be sure parents will be there. Parents have a right to watch their children but they should also respect the fact that many people give up their spare time to help children succeed and stay in sport.

In the past, a lot of coaches were teachers so they had a degree and a background in childhood development. Now, coaches are mostly parents and/or committed adults and they may know a lot about the game but in many situations very little about how children learn. Kids sports has changed drastically since we were kids and learning the game is one of the biggest changes of all.

Sport itself requires teamwork, fair play, respect and problem-solving skills that transfer into life skills. In some cases, therefore, sport is a preparation for life.

Here are 20 things that will help you and your child have a great sports experience:

  1. Don’t push them into anything, ask them and if they say ‘yes’, go for it.
  2. Do not focus on winning. Teach your child the emphasis of participating is giving their best effort, having fun & learning. If we focus on those areas we will not strain our relationship with our children.
  3. Support them irrespective of their success and failure.
  4. Don’t pressure your child with adult values and ideas. Children play sport for different reasons.
  5. Let the game belong to them, because it doesn’t belong to you.
  6. By allowing them to take control of their game will keep them committed for longer.
  7. Never show your disgust for their performance by criticising them and don’t go through the game on the way home in the car. Win or lose the game is over to them and they aren’t thinking about it anymore. “There could not be a less teachable moment in your child’s sporting life then the ride home, yet it is often the moment that well intentioned parents decide to do all of their teaching” – John O’Sullivan See ‘The Ride Home’
  8. If they enjoy the game. Try and get them to develop an interest outside of organised training. This way they will take it upon themselves to work hard and get better (More success) and value the game more.
  9. If you control everything your child does they will never take responsibility.
  10. Model good behaviour on the sideline, be a good role model for your child.
  11. Don’t distract your child by continually shouting their name. Be enthusiastic, but don’t yell instruction and don’t get emotionally involved with the game. Sometimes silence is the best praise of all.
  12. What children see on a sports pitch and what adults see, is a completely different picture.
  13. Help children understand the importance and benefits of a good education in addition to developing their sporting interests. Coach Wooden said, Education comes ahead of sport and sport comes ahead of your social life. In any other order you won’t have very much.
  14. Provide them proper equipment and clothing to play.
  15. Stay interested in what they are doing.
  16. Allow them to set their own goals.
  17. Respect the coach. He or she might not always get it right but every decision is another opportunity for you child to learn something.
  18. If your child makes a mistake in the game, the first thing they will do is look to the line for your support. Don’t show your disgust, always be supportive. Develop a mistake ritual with your child so that they can move away from the mistake and focus on the next play.
  19. Children play sport because it’s fun. Play and fun mean the same thing to children.
  20. Sometimes “I love watching you play”, is all you need to say.

Coaching and instructing from the sidelines will distract your child from the flow of the game, make him/her more nervous, kill his/her enjoyment and, as a consequence, insure that he will consistently play badly. Eventually they will leave the game and not return until adult hood.

“Children make two conscious decisions per second. Sideline information prevents children from making a quick decision or deciding on one”.

According to Dan Gould at the Michigan State University Institute for the Study of Youth Sports, kids want to have fun, to get better, and to be with their friends. They want parental support and encouragement.  They want you to watch them play and praise them for their effort.  They want you to be realistic about their ability and they want you to be present, and interested in what they are doing.  They do not want you to shout at them the coach and the officials.  They don’t want you to put too much pressure on them, or be overly critical.  They want the game to be theirs!

John  O’Sullivan from Changing The Game Project said recently at a workshop in Dublin,

“Parents need to look at what these coaches do, how much effort they put into helping other peoples children. Without them we would not have a game, so don’t be quick to judge them. As a parent, once you are confident that your child is in a safe learning environment, one of the most important things you can do as a parent of a young player is to let them go and let their sports experience belong to them”.

Finally, how a parent behaves before, during and after a game can cause great anxiety on the child and consequently affect performance, development and enjoyment. Many parents will need educating in modern approaches to coaching, and how children learn, which is essential if they are to constructively support their child’s development through sport.

As parents, be patient.

Not all kids progress at the same rate and learning any game takes more time than most people realise. Allow them to be children, enjoying all the FUN elements of the sport, so that they can mature into the adult game naturally, learning each step along the way. Sports benefits not only builds kids physically and mentally it also builds and bonds relationships.

Reference: Coach John Wooden, Changing the Game Project, Timson-Katchis 2007, Woodward 2012, Horst Wein.

-End

I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com and if you don’t have anything to add, please pass this on to a friend.

As always, thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

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Irish Grassroots Football Soccer Parents

Coaching your own child – The parent-coach, child-player relationship.

As many as 90% of all volunteer coaches are parent coaches. There has been 2/3 major studies in this area of coaching both showing positive and negative results.

So many coaches start out as regular parents standing on the sideline every weekend cheering on their son or daughter. Little did they know that several days later they would be handed the club jacket, a list of players, parents details, some football, bibs, cones and a good luck and big pat on the back.

It can very daunting for someone who has never kicked a ball in their life and now has the task of managing and coaching a bunch of kids. Not many people will get the opportunity to coach their own kid, which can be a wonderful experience working together.

Many look back on this experience as the best moments in their lives but many kids also back on it as a very difficult time and in many cases – one that they would rather forget.

The Butterfly: There was a great story about a young boy who observed a butterfly unable to emerge from a cocoon. The butterfly appeared to be struggling and in pain. He rushed into the kitchen and brought out a scissors. He carefully snipped the cocoon open and the butterfly was free. But the butterfly’s wings where twisted. He later learned, the struggle and pain the butterfly must endure to emerge from the cocoon were necessary for it to fly. This story is so relative to how children learn, grow and deal with struggle and disappointment. Sometimes we just need to let them figure it out for themselves and not be so quick to propel them along.

 

Here are some tips I’ve learnt for making the joined experience a much more positive one for all concerned:

  • Ask you child how they feel about you being involved with the team. They may not like the fact that you are involved (unlikely) and it’s good to know before you set out on this long journey as your child’s coach.
  • Avoid parenting during training and game time.
  • You are now in a position that requires you to wear two hats, one as a coach and one as a parent. In order to be fair you will have to explain to your child that he/she will be treated like everyone else. This is probably the most difficult part of the role switching from a coach to a parent and vice versa.
  • Some people like to label the role, so during the sport you’re the coach/manager. (A bit like a teacher when teaching his/her own child(ren) in school.)
  • If the other coach also has a child on the team, when giving individual instruction use what is know as the “cross-over approach”…. You work with other coach’s child and he/she works with your child. That way it keeps things separate.
  • Never stop being a mum or dad and reaffirm how much you care for them always. You can never give enough praise once it’s specific.
  • You may need to let you child know each time you talk to them as a coach or as a parent.
  • Most parents who coach their son or daughter’s team generally end up being unfair to their child or give them more game time than the others. In many cases the child hasn’t earned that place or position through effort, skill or ability. There is nothing worse than a coach who favour his own son or daughter over others.  You can be sure that the rest of the team will know if your being unfair and if they don’t, their parents will and it won’t be long before they are talking about you to others.
  • On the other hand, the coach who is harder on his own child, can be holding that child back and preventing them from having a good relationship with that sport. It’s always good to ask your assistant if you are being fair to your child compared to the other players on the team. I’m yet to meet a coach who has gotten this part of the job 100% right all of the time.
  • Again you have to treat everyone the same for better or for worse. If your child can get away with messing about during training, giving you lip or other forms of unacceptable behaviour other players would get reprimanded for you’re not setting a very good example. Be consistent with this. 
  • The worst thing you can do is talk bad about the other players on the team to your child. This will certainly put him or her in a very difficult situation with those players. Remember those are your child’s team-mates and it’s very important that you build team cohesion (togetherness) and not destroy it.
  • Do you know enough about teaching the sport to be fair to everyone. This is probably going to be one of your biggest challenges. So you better be prepared to learn quickly. Put in the time and effort to develop your own game (Coaching).
  • You might feel that you want to do some extra coaching with your child to improve them. Make sure, if you are doing this that it’s fun and not like training. Don’t wear your coach/manager hat, this is a time when you should definitely be wearing the dad/mum hat. This way he or she will be mentally fresh for team training rather then not knowing the difference.

” One positive aspect includes being able to spend quality time together. Additionally, the child perceives that he/she gets special attention, praise, and perks, such as being on familiar terms with the coach. In the child’s perception, having your parent as a coach is an opportunity to receive motivation and technical instruction that others on the team do not have. In the perspective of the parent, being both coach and parent provides the opportunity to teach values and skills, the opportunity to see how their child interact with friends, and the ability to see their child’s accomplishments and take pride in them” – Weiss & Fretwell 2005

Your time coaching your own child will pass by quickly, so make sure both of you are having a positive experience at all times. Don’t let winning get in the way of your decisions. Sport is a wonderful avenue to help your children learn valuable life long lessons. Do your part to insure that these lessons they are learning are constructive, positive and most importantly FUN! This is no easy task – so don’t be afraid to speak to other parent coaches and get their perspective on things both good and bad.

Weiss & Fretwell study also showed the negatives side for all concerned such as:

  1. Feeling pressure and higher expectations; being subject to unfair behaviour and more criticism for mistakes.
  2. Being on the receiving end of anger.
  3. The father-coach lacked empathy and understanding of the son’s perspective.
  4. Fathers reported feeling that it was difficult to separate the role of coach from the role of parent.
  5. There is also the perception that differential treatment exists for the coach’s son. This perception exists not only in the minds of the sons, but also in the minds of the parents and other teammates.
  6. The children of the coach received more negative feedback from their fathers than the other team members.
  7. Fathers viewed themselves as placing more pressure and higher expectations on their sons.
  8. Fathers felt they gave more recognition to other players.
  9. Teammates of the coaches’ sons reinforced the fathers’ views, saying that the “the coach was more likely to disadvantage his son compared to his teammates”
  10. Also some of the teammates did report feeling that the coach showed favouritism to his son.

These studies have limitations and cannot really be generalised to the whole population of parent-coaches and child-player. A small number of participants participated and they had not quite reached adolescence or who were just hitting adolescence. It was not the highest level of competition. The last two factors could affect the amount of pressure and anxiety perceived by the children.

Finally, try to act on the sidelines in a way that would make your son or daughter proud to have you as a parent and a coach. Remember, your child is not the only one that’s performing during the game (don’t follow them around with a spotlight over their head). You are also a performer (A SILENT ONE) and the quality of their experience is firmly in your hands. Conduct yourself in such a way that you clearly communicate to your child and those around you that this is just a recreational game for children, played by children because it’s FUN. It’s unlikely any of these kids will turn professional even if they believe in the dream. One thing is for sure these early years of participation are some of the best years of these young players life’s and it is our job to make sure these years are just that……… And always remember children don’t value winning as much as adults do. The most important thing is they do their best (give their best effort) for the team, each and every time they play and train.

I’ll finish by saying that without parent coaches we would have no game and most teams wouldn’t even exist. My advice is don’t coach your own child forever. It’s great at the younger ages but there is a time to step away and just watch them play. I would suggest that you devote some of your time to just being a dad or mum (supporting from the sidelines) and when it’s time to let go (as the coach), let go or else you might lose them forever.

Do you coach your own child? Have you any advice for parent/coaches?

-end

This is for you Joe!

Ref: Barber, Sukhi and White 1999, Weiss & Fretwell 2005

Barber, H., Sukhi, H., & White, S. A. (1999). The influence of parent-coaches on participant motivation and competitive anxiety in youth sport participation.

I always like to hear your opinions and views especially parent-coaches. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

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Child Protection Childrens Health Irish Grassroots Football Soccer Parents

Players Pledge

Last week it was the parent’s turn to take the pledge and be a supportive parent. Responsibility also falls on the players to commit to their game, do the best they can possible do and respect the opposition, their fellow players and the officials.

“When I grew up, it was children competing against children. Now, more often than not, it’s adults competing against other adults through their children.” – John O’Sullivan 

Kids can provide a positive attitude and be a honourable participator.

I pledge to have a positive attitude and to do my very best each and every time I play sports:

  1. I will be a good sportsperson and respect my fellow players, coaches, officials, parents and the opposition.
  2. I will arrive on time to training and games.
  3. I will do my best in training and not miss a session when it is reasonably possible.
  4. I will make sure if I’m missing training or a game, my parents notify the coach at all times.
  5. If I train I will expect to receive a fair and equal amount of playing time.
  6. I will always treat people with respect, including my fellow players; coaches and parents. I will expect the same from them.
  7. I will always play with a smile and have fun and will notify parents or coaches if it stops being fun.
  8. I deserve to play in a healthy, safe and friendly environment and I expect adults to make sure my wish is respected.
  9. I will encourage my parents to come to my game and support me in a positive way. I want to make them proud of me today.
  10. I will do my very best in school. I know that sport is very important part of growing up and I also know that education is even more important.
  11. I will wear my club colours with pride and make sure I always have my full kit in training and on match day.
  12. I will play in any position my coach asks me to play in. I will put my team first and give 100% effort every time.

“When a kids plays sport the most important thing is that they have a good time, having fun is one way of making sure of that” – TCD

DOWNLOAD TCD Player’s Pledge, sign it and give it to your coach. 

Have a wonderful season playing sport.

Put it in your calendar: 

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I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

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Categories
Child Protection Childrens Health Irish Grassroots Football Soccer Parents

Take The Pledge, 16 Elements in support of your child’s sport.

Why not start the season and take the pledge to be more encouraging at your kids match. This way you commit to implementing a healthier and sustainable pathway to success, which falls on the shoulders of everyone involved with Kids Sports – especially Parents.

TCD wants to insure that Kids Sport can be enjoyed in a safe and positive environment. Remember that football and all sport provide kids with the opportunity to develop, their Technical, Physical, Tactical (older) and social skills.

Winning is not the number 1 reason they get involved.

Parents are continually asked by clubs to get involved and be a supportive spectator, here is one way to can be just that.

I here by pledge to provide positive support, praise and encouragement for my child participating in this game, by following the Parent Pledge.

  1. I will let my child play and have fun in a safe environment.
  2. I will let my child choose the sport(s) he/she wants to play.
  3. I will get my child to and from training/matches on time.
  4. I will remember that the game is for kids and not for adults.
  5. I will let the coaches take responsibility for instructing and teaching my child.
  6. I will refrain from making negative comments about my child’s coach in my child’s presence. I understand that everyone is trying their best and sometimes people make mistakes. By doing this I understand this will avoid planting negatives thoughts in my child’s head that can negatively influence his/her motivation and sports experience.
  7. I will focus on using sports to teach life lessons to my child and his teammates.
  8. I will teach my child what it is to be a ‘Winner’. A winner is someone who gives their best Effort, always want to Learn and does not let Mistakes, or fear of making mistakes stop them from improving.
  9. I will provide positive encouragement to my child and his or her teammates and will never ridicule or yell at my child for losing a game or competition.
  10. I will limit my comments during the game. The game can be a very chaotic experience for my child, especially trying to deal with the fast-paced action and having to listen to teammates directions, as well as blank out, all the sideline noise and focus on things the coaching staff are saying. I will not at to the confusion.
  11. I will set an example to always respect the game and encourage my child to remember the ROOTS (Respect for the Rules, Opponents, Officials, Teammates & Self). I will never engage in, or tolerate, offensive, insulting, or abusive language or behaviour towards any official, coach, player or spectator.
  12. I will be in control of my self and my emotions on the sideline and pledge to stay quiet if I have nothing positive to say.
  13. I will ensure the trip back home in the car is a positive one.
  14. I will always say things like, ‘I love watching you play’ and ‘Did you have fun?’ and “Did you do your best?’ to my child after their game.
  15. I will always make sure my child has fun. I understand that the top 3 reasons kids play sport are to 1. Have fun 2. Make New Friends. 3. Learn new skills and that far less than 1% of all participants ever make it to the professional level of the game.
  16. I will not live my dreams through my child.

Yes, I commit to making my child’s sport experience a Healthy and Enjoyable one!

DOWNLOAD The Parent Pledge, sign it and hand the top half to your child’s coach. Have a great season supporting your child’s team!

Next post is the ‘Player’s Pledge’ 

-End

I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

 

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